Wednesday, August 15, 2007

They may take my Marlboro's but they will never take my freedom!


It’s a dirty filthy nasty deadly habit.

We all know this.

Everybody knows this.

The world knows this.

But people still smoke.

And it’s wrong.


You live in a city like El Cajon.

Let me explain.

The City of El Cajon in San Diego County passed a new ordinance this week that will prohibit smoking in most public places.

El Cajon was the first city in San Diego County to outlaw smoking in parks and also requiring businesses that sell tobacco to get a city license.

Under the ordinance, smoking on a city sidewalk will be forbidden. Smoking outside office buildings, however, will be permitted, as long as smokers are in a designated area away from non-smokers.


That’s just stupid.

This is El Cajon.

Have you ever been to El Cajon?

They should be able to smoke anything they want in El Cajon.

They should be able to roll up an old couch and smoke it.

Smoke a dead pet.

Smoke a live pet.

Smoke everything!

It’s El Cafrigginjon!

How are you supposed to drive around covered in tattoos in a pickup truck with a gun rack and a pit bull and not smoke?

El Cajon is a…. well… well… It’s El Cajon.

It’s the Spanish word for one testicle.

It’s Tijuana East.

It’s a thousand degrees in the smoggy shade.

It’s the “meth” capitol of the United States!

For the love of God let them smoke.

Let them smoke all day!

I think that certain cities should be designated as smoking cities.

Think of it as legalized euthanasia.

Wouldn’t it be easier to have designated smoking cities like El Cajon and just ban smoking everywhere else?

It makes more sense.

This idea of banning smoking outside in public areas while noble is just stupid.

How are they going to enforce this?

Are they going to deputize posses of pissed off busybodies?

I can see it now. Roaming bands of menopausal women beating smokers to death while secretly stealing their smokes.

I’ll get smacked for that last one…. I know.

How can they possibly have a “designated” smoking area OUTSIDE?????

Are you kidding me?

What are they going to do hire “wind checkers” to make sure there’s no drift factor?

How will they make sure the "wind checkers" aren't illegal aliens?

I can see the El Cajon police force at their Monday morning meetings.

“Sgt. Billy Bob, Deputy Rufus and Deputy Skeeter will be on “smoke” patrol this week. Make sure your Tasers and cattle prods are fully charged men. Zap em before they light up if you can.”

I’m going to go out on a limb and say the police in a city like El Cajon have a hell of a lot better things to do then arrest or ticket smokers.

I know some of you are thinking that I support smoking.

I don’t.

But I do support an idiot’s right to kill himself any damn way he pleases.

It thins the herd.

Let’s face it this whole battle against smoking is just a little odd.

The cigarette companies keep producing cigarettes and yet on their very own websites state comments like the following:

Smoking causes serious disease.
Nicotine in tobacco products is addictive but is not considered a significant threat to health.
No tobacco product has been shown to be safe.
An individual's level of risk for serious disease is significantly affected by the type of tobacco product used as well as the manner and frequency of use.


Here’s my favorite right off the R.J. Reynolds website.

“R.J. Reynolds Tobacco Company believes that individuals should rely on the conclusions of the U.S. Surgeon General, the Centers for Disease Control and other public health and medical officials when making decisions regarding smoking.

And here’s just a few of the highlights from the Surgeon General and the Centers for Disease Control:

1. Smoking harms nearly every organ of the body, causing many diseases and affecting the health of smokers in general. Quitting smoking has immediate as well as long-term benefits for you and your loved ones.

2. Smoking is the single greatest avoidable cause of disease and death.

3. The risk of dying from lung cancer is more than 22 times higher among men who smoke cigarettes and about 12 times higher among women who smoke cigarettes compared with never smokers.

4. Cigarette smoking increases the risk for many types of cancer, including cancers of the lip, oral cavity, pharynx, esophagus, pancreas, larynx (voice box), lung, uterine cervix, urinary bladder, and kidney.

5. Cigarette smoking is associated with a tenfold increase in the risk of dying from chronic obstructive lung disease. About 90% of all deaths from chronic obstructive lung diseases are attributable to cigarette smoking.

6. Secondhand smoke exposure causes disease and premature death in children and adults who do not smoke.

7. Children exposed to secondhand smoke are at an increased risk for sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), acute respiratory infections, ear problems, and more severe asthma. Smoking by parents causes respiratory symptoms and slows lung growth in their children.

8. Exposure of adults to secondhand smoke has immediate adverse effects on the cardiovascular system and causes coronary heart disease and lung cancer.

9. Cigarette smoking causes reduced circulation by narrowing the blood vessels (arteries). Smokers are more than 10 times as likely as nonsmokers to develop peripheral vascular disease.

10. It smells.

Okay I made up that last one. But it’s still true.

So… The R.J. Reynolds Co. believes that individuals should rely on those conclusions but continue to smoke anyway?

Isn’t that what they are saying?

Smoke at your own risk.

But smoke.

That has to be it. Otherwise all they need to do is just put up the following on their website.

Don’t buy cigarettes. They may kill you.

But let’s be honest, it’s not the tobacco companies fault if you get cancer or die from smoking cigarettes.

It’s your fault.

It’s not even their fault if you get cancer and die from second hand smoke. It’s the fault of the asshole who was smoking next you.

Cigarettes don’t kill people.

People smoking cigarettes that own guns and pit bulls and drive pickup trucks and have tattoos and live in El Cajon kill people.