Wednesday, July 05, 2006

"Here I go again..."


“Dad? Dad?”

“What? What?”

“Have you ever heard of “rectal stenosis”?

“Um… Aren’t they a Whitesnake cover band?”

“Dad be serious. The doctor says John Anthony has rectal stenosis. It means his butt hole is too tight. We have to give him suppositories twice a day.”

“Ohhh “rectal stenosis”, Yeah I have heard of that. It’s a natural defense mechanism. He’ll grow out of it after he gets through the boy scouts and Catholic school.”

“Come on dad this is serious. When he goes he really goes. He’s like Mount Pinatubo.”

“Well, he is part Filipino.”

“Dad you don’t want to have to change one of those diapers. It’s like Damien is in his pants.”

“That’s why I leave that to your mother.”

“Dad I’m worried. This whole being a father thing is really stressful. Not only do I not sleep or eat right; now there’s poo everywhere. And Kim keeps eyeballing me like it’s all my fault and she wants to smother me with a pillow.”

“Hmmm… I know that look. Has she been talking to your mother?”

“Come on dad…”

“Look son, bottom line, no pun intended, did the doctor say he’s going to be okay?”

“Yes, it takes seven to ten days of suppositories but he should be fine.”

“Then son, relax, life’s full of moments of poo, trust me. I’ve got to go now.”

“Thanks for listening dad. So where are you going?”

“Down to Tower Records to get a Whitesnake CD.”