Science versus the word of Wife.

“What the hell is this?”

“What?”

“THIS!!!”

“Um… It looks like my sound activated talking Rodney Dangerfield collectible.”

“Why is this in my new living room?”

“What?”

“WHY IS THIS IS IN MY NEW LIVING ROOM?”

“Feng Shui?”

“Feng Shui my ass. You are not putting a Rodney Dangerfield doll in my living room.”

“It’s a collectible.”

“I don’t care what it is it isn’t going in the living room.”

“Wait, just listen.”

“I tell you I don’t get no respect.”

“I am not amused.”

“I have a dog he drives me nuts, his favorite bone is in my arm.”

“What about now? Are you amused now?”

“Get rid of it.”

“My father didn't like the looks of me, he kept the picture of the kid who came with the wallet.”

“Listen numb nuts the doll goes period, end of story.”

(They should make a talking wife doll.)

“How come you get stuff in the living room and I don’t? Huh? Look at this place. How many candles can you have in one room? You don’t even light the damn things. You have candles sitting in plates with rocks, R O C K S. What the hell is that?”

“They’re decorative.”

“Well Rodney is kind of decorative.”

“Okay buster, give me one good reason to keep Rodney in the living room, just one good reason.”

“He’s part of my theory.”

“What theory?”

“My theory of “Interior Design”.

“Don’t even start to “Chewbacca” me mister.”

“I’m not, I believe that the living room didn’t just evolve into a room filled with candles and glass crap because some of this stuff in here cannot be rationally explained in terms of undirected natural forces and that most of this crap exhibits features which in any other circumstance we would attribute to lack of intelligence.”

“JUST LOSE THE DAMN DOLL OR YOU'LL BE SORRY YOU WERE BORN.”

“Yes dear.”

See… There is a higher power.