There's nothing like a good education...

When my wife and I got married I needed to be trained.

It started with laundry.

I lived at home until I got married at the ripe old age of twenty. I didn't know how my laundry was done. All I knew was every night I threw my dirty clothes on top of this chair in my bedroom and magically the next day they were clean and back in the drawers or hanging in my closet.

The first day back from our honeymoon I emptied out my luggage and put my dirty clothes on a chair in the living room.

We didn't have a chair in the bedroom what was I supposed to do?

I was real proud of myself for taking the time to put my stuff away when we got back. I wanted to my new bride to know that she had married a kind, sensitive and caring man. A man that was going to be there with her, hand in hand, every moment of this marriage.

I wanted... sex.

My wife didn't say a word. She walked over to the chair, gathered up the clothes, went to the front door of our third floor apartment, and threw my clothes down the garbage chute.

I was horrified!!! My favorite Jimi Hendrix shirt was in there!!!

I was also confused.

My head was spinning, my thoughts were running rampant.

Sex, dirty laundry, sex, chair, sex, garbage, sex, chair, sex, laundry, sex, garbage, mom?

That was lesson number one.

Now every time I get horny I have to put some dirty laundry in my "hamper" first.

She doesn't make do it.

I do it because I'm a kind, sensitive and caring man. A man that was going to be there with her, hand in hand, every moment of this marriage.

And the sex....

I also fold laundry.

I fold for food.

That's lesson number two.